Uncategorized: July 2005 Archives

So to continue my streak of computer-oriented crap, I've decided to provide this stunningly accurate analogy. Microsoft is like a dad who is desperately trying to be cool. He tries, and tries, and tries, but fails miserably. And by "try" I mean "doeswhat everybody else has been doing for the past three years." Remember Service Pack 2? That ground-breaking new feature called "pop-up blocking" which was implemented into Internet Explorer last year? Yeah, Microsoft was trying to be cool. It was a really lame dad trying to be cool. But the kids caught on. They yelled "Sorry, dad, but you're a pathetic lameass!" And they ran off to hang out with the cool kids named Apple, Linux, Firefox, and Netscape. Now Microsoft is at it again, only this time they're working with some new contenders like "tabbed browsing." I have recently acquired the latest beta version of Internet Explorer 7, and let me tell you, this is one space-age feature. It won't be long before everybody is using this new-fangled "tabbed browsing" contraption. What next? Web-standards compliance? Hold it right there, buckaroo. Don't overdo it now! I've also been looking at screenshots of the beta for Windows Vista, and let me tell you something: it looks cool! I haven't seen something so neat since OSX was released, like, four years ago! I think the whole mantra of "trustworthy computing" has really gone to their heads. Maybe someday it will be considered "hip" to use Windows, but I doubt it will happen in our lifetimes. In the meantime I am going to be a total hypocrite and continue to use my totally square (and legally purchased) Windows XP Pro machine.

I think, as it turns out, I'm not legally insane. In the meantime:

• Yoohoo is chocolate-flavored water
• My former gym teacher was following me for a few miles and it was making me very uncomfortable
• Radiohead t-shirts shrink very easily
• I'm still convinced nobody is reading this (aside from the faithful few)
• There are some people on my messageboard with personalities so dry they could crack
• Fat people with Arby's bags are really funny
• I thought of something pretty clever to write here, but goshdarnit I forgot what it was
• I'm thinking about registering nickgoestocollege.com and/or jasonbiggsisadouche.com. I suppose the latter might get me into trouble
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• R. Lee Ermey is an American hero
• Bruce Springsteen is turning into a creepy old man, but then again, so am I
• The lists on this website aren't displaying correctly
• Internet Explorer 7 looks exactly like Firefox

That's all I can think of right now.

For the two people who read this site and haven't seen the Gladiator video, it has been made available here. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, me and my friends made this as an extra credit project for our regional studies class a year ago. Looking back, it seems really stupid, but it's our legacy. Spread the word, suckas.

If I were to build a new computer it would look like this. Case: Black Aspire X-Navigator case (w/ 500-watt power supply -- I'd probably replace this with something more powerful/reliable) Motherboard: ASUS A8N-SLI Deluxe Processor: AMD Athlon 64 3500+ Venice (probably replacing stock cooling) Hard Drives: Two Samsung 200GB SATA II Drives (with RAID 0) RAM: 2 GB (2 x 1GB) Corsair XMS Dual-Channel PC3200 Video Card: eVGA Geforce 6800GT (later on I'd install a second card and SLI them, once I figure out how to do that) Monitor: Viewsonic 19" LCD Sound Card: Audigy 2 ZS Platinum Speakers: Klipsch Promedia Ultra 5.1 surround sound For a grand total of approximately $2358; cheaper than the cheapest PowerMac/Display configuration.

I have not updated this website in a few days because my life is boring and I have nothing interesting to say. In the meantime, I've learned a few things: - Laffy Taffy is made of plastic but it tastes good - Battlefield 2 is fun but I'm really horrible at it - IKEA is for sellouts - There are only four or five people who will end up reading this - My right shift key sticks - I still hate coleslaw and I'll still never try it - Jason Biggs is still a douche - I'm afraid to leave my house because people scare me - I haven't had green tea in a week and it's taking its toll on my mental stability - Apparently "Office Space" is now an American Movie Classic Hey everybody, I have a facebook now. I'm one step closer to being just like everybody else.

So I was rolling down the street in my green Jetta, sipping a Frappuccino, with IKEA loot in my trunk, blasting Rage Against the Machine (catch the irony? I didn't think so) when it hit me; IKEA is great. In fact it's pretty much the only thing that would make me want to stay in Pittsburgh. To further prove my point I have provided here an illustration.

My tentative schedule for the rest of the summer: Tonight (or tomorrow night): See blues brothers at the oaks theater July 25/27: Work July 28: Bruce Springsteen Concert July 29: Doctor's Appointment July 30: See Brazil at the oaks theater (hopefully) July 31st: LEAVE FOR ST. THOMAS August 4: BACK FROM ST. THOMAS August 5: Camping (maybe) August 10: Last day of work August 11: Coldplay concert August 12-16: Do absolutely nothing August 17+: Move into my dorm/Stop being a total waste As you can see my overwhelming popularity provides me with a packed schedule. You should be jealous that you don't know me. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go trim my fingernails.

And this movie is Dead Alive. By far the best film ever made. (And I haven't even seen the uncut version yet.) By the way, does anyone really know what Laffy Taffy is made of?

Hello tykes, I've decided to make a somewhat custom layout for the blog. It's still not done, and some things (like comments) are still messed up because I haven't fixed the code. But oh well, it's not like anybody actually reads this page. Here is a very informative website that has absolutely nothing to do with me. [later on] this is very frustrating because I'm trying to do it all with CSS, no tables. currently the backgrounds aren't lining up but i'm working on it. so pretend to be interested, because it's interesting. [later later on] it seems to be working and looking great. leave stupid comments and tell me how great you think i am. go ahead, do it.

So since Amazon.com lied to me, and I'm never going to get my We're In This Together singles, I bought this neat hat instead. Now I can pretend I'm hot ghetto shit!

I just spent $1.89 on twelve ounces of sugar-ridden crap. For half that price I could have gotten a medium Pepsi with free refills. For $1.39 I could have gotten twenty ounces of Arizona Green Tea, nectar of the gods. Jones soda is overrated and overpriced snot, and people only drink it because of the neat little picture on the bottle.

"We are sorry to report that we will not be able to obtain the following item from your order: Nine Inch Nails "We're in This Together, Pt. 3 [CD-SINGLE] [ENHANCED] [EXPLICIT LYRICS] [IMPORT]" Though we had expected to be able to send this item to you, we've since found that it is not available from any of our sources at this time. We realize this is disappointing news to hear, and we apologize for the inconvenience we have caused you. We have cancelled this item from your order." SOMEBODY GIVE ME A KNIFE.

So tonight me and Joe were at the Pirates-Astros double-header when it dawned on us: there should be a baseball team consisting entirely of players named Jason. It would be called The Argonauts. This team would be unstoppable. Some cool things to do when nobody is looking: 1) Picking your nose 2) Singing your favorite Duran Duran hits 3) Stealing gasoline 4) Wanking 5) Listening to Public Enemy 6) Watching Lifetime Movie Network I can't think of anything else. Hey everybody! My MLK shirt came today! P.S. I can't/am unable to attend Lollapalooza this weekend, and that makes me a sad panda.

Keeping in line with my goal to spend as much money as I can with my new credit card, I've just purchased the We're In This Together parts 2 and 3 cd singles. These elusive items were once thought to be extinct, occasionally cropping up in random used/import bins across the music dealers of America. I happened to pick up a Swedish import of part 1 for only $7 quite a few months ago. Now my wonderful collection is complete and I can feel like I have actually accomplished something.

DUMBLEDORE DIES! So anyway, I was eating disgusting food from Arby's and I noticed a normal fry in my box of curly fries. I didn't eat it because it was probably contaminated.

Five albums that have made my brains leak from my nostrils: 5. The The - Dusk Weezer - Pinkerton 4. The Beatles - Abbey Road 3. Radiohead - The Bends 2. Pink Floyd - The Division Bell 1. Nine Inch Nails - The Fragile Each one holds its own place in my cold, dead, plastic heart and conjures up some sort of old, dusty, overused memory. This list is prone to changing later in life, but not by much.

Buy this for me. In the meantime you can get me the others.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005. My last day of work. Nearly two years of serving horrible food to horrible old people. And I'm finally done. I've paid my dues; this is my ticket to paradiso.

so here are my options regarding the nine inch nails tour: 1) go to the cleveland show on october 9th (sunday) 2) go to the philadelphia show on november 5th (saturday) c) wait for a pittsburgh show to be announced i will take advantage of number C regardless of what happens. tickets for cleveland go on sale this saturday, the 16th. tickets for philly have no sale date yet. my hypothetical gameplan for the cleveland show: < < sunday afternoon (2-ish): drive over to cleveland (approx. 3 hours); get something to eat, if there's time sunday evening (7-ish): go to concert; get blown away sunday night (12-ish): finish concert, get in car and leave cleveland monday morning (3-ish): get back to pittsburgh monday morning (3:30-ish): crash in my dorm five hours later...: wake up and go to Latin I >> and now my hypothetical gameplan for the philly show: < < saturday morning (10am-ish): drive over to philly (approx. 6-7 hours, possibly alternating drivers with my hypothetical nin-friend) saturday afternoon (4-ish): have dinner saturday evening (7-ish): go to concert; get blown away. saturday night (12-ish): get in car and drive around philly, hopefully not getting shot saturday night: find cheap hotel and crash for the night sunday morning: wake up and drive back to pittsburgh >> obviously the philadelphia show would be much easier. i also have more time to save money for tickets. option 2 comes in first. on a sadder note, my green tea is gone, and i have no money to buy more.

so while i was wasting away the long summer nights in front of my computer, an idea struck me. i'm going to order some killnick.com stickers and put them everywhere i can. but before that, i have to design a reall kick-ass sticker logo. something big and bold and enticing. i'm really trying to pimp out the site here. i've made a thread on the forum here, where i've been posting possible candidates. your feedback is welcome. when i finally settle on something so totally awesome that it encourages your eyeballs to melt out of their sockets, i'll order 250 of them and place them everywhere around Pittsburgh. soon my inbox wil be overflowing with emails from perverts, creeps, and stalkers. i can't wait.

...the forums are back. i don't expect them to be nearly as successful as last time (if you could ever even call them successful). but they're there, and they're waiting for you to show your stupid face. so get posting! (or not.)

this list is decidedly incomplete:

• you experience an extreme burning sensation in one of the following areas: face, crotch, arms, hands, wrists, legs, back, hair, nose, feet, anus, or elbows
• you see or smell smoke coming from any of the aforementioned areas
• somebody yells "fire!" and points at you
• you find yourself being sprayed with a fire extinguisher at odd intervals
• you look in the mirror and see a guy who is on fire
• you can breakdance better than anybody else
• you are smoking (and not in a jim carrey/the mask sort of way)

nevermind this was a waste of time.

i am a happy little kid.

i was never a hardcore eBay user, but now that i have a credit card i'm going to use it like there's no tomorrow. so i bought a radiohead EP called "AIRBAG / HOW AM I DRIVING?" it even came with a few booger stains on the front! needless to say i'm superpsyched and i'll probably listen to it twice before i stick it underneath my bed and forget about it completely. by the way, any myspace freaks who happen to read this should join my anti-dakota fanning group. 19 members can't be wrong.

i chose navy. pity, i should have ordered it last night. would have gotten free shipping. oh well. i need to pretend i'm sleeping. big day tomorrow. dentist's appointment. goodnight. P.S. apparently if you're using internet explorer those buttons at the top WON'T WORK. i'll fix it later. maybe you should stop using internet explorer, you jackass.

since there is no date for pittsburgh listed on the nine inch nails tour site, i'm defaulted to catching the show in cleveland. a friend who is going to college in columbus in the fall offered to go with me, but there's always a pretty good change that he'll pussy out. if he does i'll be roadtripping with somebody else. now i have a little over a week to whore myself out for tickets. GAME ON!

i've decided to sell out and install the wordpress blogging application onto killnick.com. my original plan was to code a custom-made weblog-type deal using my meager knowledge of php/mysql, but this is much more convenient, and it's better than anything else i could ever dream of creating. now you can read about what's going on in my stupid life, while pretending to be interested! p.s. i'm still in the process of hacking the default visual style, so some things probably look weird. i'll get around to fixing them, hopefully. [LATER] nevermind. i hate blogs. they're boring. this isn't a blog. bye.