stuff: October 2005 Archives

As I become increasingly more bored, I find myself browsing the internet much more; so much that my iBook has nearly become physically attached to my hip. As a result I've discovered the wonderful world of the "Blogosphere." I think I can honestly say that it's the most overrated thing on the internet. I've read claims that soon the mass media will be replaced by a growing, independent consortium of bloggers, and our daily headlines will be delivered via RSS aggregates instead of newspapers or tv. And I think this is all a bunch of bullshit. I currently have about a half-dozen blogs bookmarked--most of which are merely for humor, and are updated infrequently--but I find it nearly impossible to read through long commentary-style weblogs that are trying to revolutionize the internets. I don't know, maybe my attention span is too short to worry about a bunch of rambling self-proclaimed pundits. Either way, I'm a big hypocrite because I'm writing this into a weblog right now.

From: Dr. Laubscher Subject: CLass Cancelled Date: October 26, 2005 9:41:25 AM EDT To: Nick Hi eVERYONE I'm afraid I'll have to cancel class for today, WEDNESDAY the 26th. I'll spare you the gory details, but suffice it to say if it looks just a litlle, teeny bit greenish, nine out of ten times, don't eat it - even (especially) on a dare from your five year old son. Leswin

"I might play theaters by myself, with the piano and some electronics...Just try something that's the antithesis of the shows we're doing now."

-Trent Reznor, on his plans for 2006

Who saw this coming? Ever since he played by himself for the Hurricane Katrina relief show, I envisioned him taking on smaller venues performing deconstructed versions of his songs, a la Still. Bruce Springsteen did a similar thing with his latest album as well, and I think it was great. It's a completely different and much more intimate atmosphere. The only downside is that many people will still expect the traditional, chaotic Nine Inch Nails show and they won't get that.

Reznor also claims to be working on a new album for 2006. Excuse me while I change my underpants.

This most was made possible by Flock, a new web browser that rivals Firefox in terms of usability and features. I probably won't use it very much since I've gone with Safari, but it's cool and worth trying out. It has a built-in blog writer which I am using right now as I lay in bed wearing nothing but a smile. I guess it also takes advantage of some crazy photo thing called Flickr which I'm checking out now.

All week my mouth has been oozing some kind of brown fluid from the back of my gums. This liquid tastes terrible and makes my breath stink obscenely. My doctor claims that I am getting food lodged in the "craters" of my gums where my wisdom teeth used to be, and it is being removed in the form of that fluid discharge. I personally think he's full of shit, but then again I'm not an oral surgeon. All I know is that I've got more wonderful painkillers to keep me company for the time being.

From: Dad Subject: RE: Date: October 20, 2005 10:06:35 AM EDT To: Nick Nick, Please report Latin class to the rape victim unit. As for your balls and nipples, please take care of them as they are the only ones you have. See you on Sunday. Love Dad

On Friday they removed my wisdom teeth. This, however, is no cause for alarm because I've been maintaining a strict regiment of various pills and wonderful other pharmaceuticals which have been legally provided for me during the course of my long recovery process. Coming out of sedation was one of the most beautiful feelings of my life, and it has made me question why I've never been interested in psychoactive drugs. Coming back to reality was somewhat a disappointment, but it was made better by the fact that the smallest things made me laugh my ass off. Hooray for nitrous oxide! For the rest of the day I was in a dazed stupor, and I ddn't get much sleep. The next morning (Saturday), we travelled to Shadyside where I GOT MY NEW IBOOK!!!. It is such a wonderful piece of macheriny; and, although it's not as fast as the omnipotent Powerbook, we're destined to become best of friends. Today is Sunday and my cheeks are beginning to swell slightly, but nobody can tell unless I point it out to them, which I have been doing consistently. The stitches are getting on my nerves, especially since I tried to brush my teeth this morning, but I have no fear because my dear old friend Percocet is standing by my side. In fact, I think it's time for another fix. Tah!

I'm back from being destroyed by Trent Reznor, and it was the single greatest experience of my life. Getting there and finding a place to park wasn't a problem as I had originally anticipated. When we finally got into the arena (after waiting in the wrong line for forty-five minutes), I ran to the merchandise table and bought my t-shirt and super limited-edition lithograph, which I will photograph later. Then the amazing happened. I came within ten feet of Rob Sheridan, photographer/web master for nin.com, and his girlfriend. I was awe-struck. I had never stood so close to cool before. They photographed a few people and quickly left. Immediately afterward I was kicking myself for not going up and asking for a picture with him. That's probably something I'll never live down; so much for missed opportunities. I did, however, manage to capture this blurry Sasquatch-style photo of him. The opener, Autolux, seemed like a sleepy and disheveled version of Snow Patrol (if that's even possible). They weren't bad, but I didn't come to see them. Queens of the Stone Age weren't bad either, at least the songs that I recognized. But I didn't come to see them either. When Trent took the stage I juiced my pants and had to pull my jacket down over my crotch so as not to embarass myself in front of the other screaming patrons. It was everything I had ever read about in the history books, and more. About halfway through the show, the video montage playing against a few songs was cut short. Trent immediately accused "some fuckhead" at the sound booth of not doing his job, and sternly asserted that he would "kick his fuckin' ass" after the show. This made the crowd go wild. As a result, one of the songs ("Beside You In Time") was not played, but the rest of the show was doubly good because Trent was in Super Saiyan mode. He was really pissed. It was grande. I was able to bring my camera into the show and took more than a hundred photos, which you can use to kill my bandwidth at your masturbatory leisure. Now I'm just wishing I had booked the Philly show. Oh well, maybe he'll tour again. Soon.

In case of the very likely event that you have not read this website in the past two years, the Nine Inch Nails show at Cleveland is coming up in less than a week. Having never been to a Nine Inch Nails concert before, I must use what little time I have remaining to prepare for a night of complete chaos. First things first: getting to Cleveland. I drove there last Saturday to make sure it actually exists, and I think I can safely say it's the worst city I've ever visited. In fact, I hope it breaks off from the rest of Ohio and sinks into Lake Erie. Come to think of it, I hate Ohio in general. I can only think of about four people in Ohio I would trust. The rest are probably Gypsies who make a living off of selling postcards for tourists who happen to be "passing through." I really have no explanation for why Cleveland is the worst city I've ever been to (with the exception of Buffalo; nothing is worse than Buffalo), but I'm sure there is some scientific evidence that can back up my case. I'm not saying Pennsylvania is much better than Ohio, either, but at least we have the Appalachians. Next thing: parking. Parking is a nightmare, especially if you've spent all your life living in a suburb where everybody finds and uses the nearest Wal-Mart as a transit hub. In Cleveland--more specifically, the Gund-Arena-Sector of Cleveland--there are parking garages everywhere. However, about 98% of them are not available for the general public (the other 2% are blocked by some asshole's SUV). They are reserved for "preferred customers." I assume they're referring to the Illuminati, so I won't talk any more about this topic because they'll probably track me down and throw me off a cliff. After that comes: Getting into the show. As you know, most Nine Inch Nails fans are Goths who like to break stuff and do other dangerous things such as flashing the middle finger. I'll have to battle through legions of these freaks in order to make it to my seat. Fortunately I've taken plenty of Tai-Chi and I'm a certified championship shadow boxer. Once we're in we have to: enjoy the show like we're going to die after it's over, because we probably will. My seat isn't located on the floor, which means I have a slightly lower chance of being killed, but my chances of survival are nonetheless pretty low. If worst comes to worst, and I've deemed my destruction imminent, I'll probably just rush the stage and jump on Trent's back. Since I probably won't make it out of the show alive, I'm not going to write any more. At the moment all I have to do is stock up on plenty of Red Bull and black eye liner. I'll try to bring back a picture or two, if I can get my camera past the arena gestapo. Until next time, FIGHT THE POWER.

I spent some time yesterday and today creating a new design concept for the website, and it has just been implemented. Doesn't that sound sophisticated? I plan to fix the blog layout to match the rest of the site. God knows when that will happen. I'm shooting for Christmas 2006. I lied. The new weblog template is almost completely finished now. There are some issues that arise between Firefox and Internet Explorer, but they are negligible and I don't care enough to fix them.